Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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