Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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