ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
