I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
