So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
