have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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