Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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