Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
