Non-Jews are for practice
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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