OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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