similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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