Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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