party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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