I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
it's great music for shaving your balls
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
