she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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