i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
