I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So much rum. So many feels.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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