my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
