Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
