Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
