Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
