Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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