I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
