Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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