dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
