Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry SweetTexas hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(204): View more from Manitoba

all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.

Fav 4 4145 1001
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup

Fav 88 4872 1298
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

I just ran into the couch, vagina first.

(1-818): View more from California

I hope you got dinner out of it

Fav 15 4502 1099
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.

Fav 13 7464 1168
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.

Fav 5 2476 1204
share tweet
(606): View more from Kentucky

Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?

Fav 3 2536 1056
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(407): View more from Florida

Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.

Fav 14 766 2076
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.

Fav 3 1285 624
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick

(1-360): View more from Washington

I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"

Fav 0 59 34
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT