Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
