I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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