omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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