using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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