Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
