fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
