Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
