My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
