I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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