My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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