I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
