There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
