I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
