His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm passing your future prison.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
