K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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