My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
