there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
