I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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