ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
