its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
What a dumb baby whore.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
