Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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