The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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