She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
