we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
