question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I stole a fireplace last night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
