Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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