I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
