I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
