you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Boobs are out for the taking
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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