The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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