He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize