Sry I called you an 8
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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