She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
