dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
