But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
