He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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