we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
