it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize